The SOAR Library

Yeager broke the sound barrier on October 14, 1947, flying the rocket-powered X-1 airplane. However, until that day, scientists were not sure it was possible. The plane had previously gone right up to the threshold of the speed of sound and stopped accelerating. It was as if it had hit a wall. Thus, the term, the “sonic barrier”. As it turned out, it is possible to go faster than the speed of sound, but as you come close to that speed, air becomes nearly as solid as a brick. And, even at the speed a plane accelerates to on the runway before taking off, air becomes as solid as jello.

Whenever a plane flies, it is suspended in air which is too thick — far too dense — for the plane to fall through it. Even though you cannot see air, and thus cannot see how thick it is becoming, you do know you can’t pedal a bike much faster than twenty miles-per-hour; and yet, at five miles-per-hour, you walk across a room without being slowed by air at all.

Thus, considering what a dramatic difference, effortlessly moving across a floor at five miles-per-hour and unable to pedal faster than twenty miles-per-hour because of the air holding you back, it is easy to imagine how much “thicker” air is at forty miles-per-hour (as thick as water) or eighty miles-per-hour (as thick as oil), or one-hundred-twenty miles-per-hour (as thick as molasses). Just a bit faster, and air becomes, as far as the plane is concerned, a mass of jello which sits on the earth and rises on up above the earth twelve miles to the edge of space.

The airplane, once it reaches “jello-speed” stays suspended in this huge mass of jello that covers the earth as a twelve-mile thick blanket. Or, if you prefer, think of the earth as a huge jelly donut, with the jelly on the outside. That is what we fly it. But it is a misconception to even say fly. Really we don’t. We simply sit suspended in jello as engines push us forward in it.

Imagine you have a plate of jello in front of you. There is a cube of pineapple suspended in the jello.  You pick up the plate and shake the jello. You shake it hard, trying to dislodge it, and make it fall. It is impossible. You cannot do it. You can only make the pineapple shake in the same direction as you shake the jello which is holding the pineapple.

Replace the pineapple with a toy model airplane, an inch or two long. Again, try to shake the jello enough to cause the model airplane to come loose and plunge through the jello. Impossible.

The jello is so thick that the plane can ONLY move forward, and it can ONLY move forward because of tremendous power from the engines shoving the plane forward hard enough to CUT the jello so it can move at all.

While the plane is on the runway, it speeds up until – as far as the plane is concerned – the air is as thick as jello. THEN, once in air as thick as jello, the plane can ONLY go where it is pointed, pushed by the tremendous force of the engines. So, the nose is raised a bit above the horizon, and so the plane goes exactly where it is pointed. The nose continues slightly up until reaching the desired cruise altitude, and is then pointed at the horizon so the plane neither climbs nor descends. Then, when time to descend, the nose is pointed slightly down, and because it is going downhill, the engines are not needed for it to cut forward through the jello.

The plane can only go where it is pointed. Turbulence can only make the jello jiggle, and thus the plane jiggle. It cannot make the plane come loose from the jello-like air. It cannot make the plane fall. In fact, use your imagination and you will find you can’t imagine the plane — in jello — going any direction except where it is pointed.

An accident can only happen under two possibilities: 1. The plane is pointed wrong, such as at a mountain, or at some point when near the ground other than the runway (there are warnings, now, to prevent both; 2. The plane goes too slow and the air is no longer like jello (that never happens with an airliner because the pilots are professional and there are warnings if the plane starts to go too slow).

If difficulty persists with concern the plane could fall, you will need to actually buy some jello mix and a little plane, and some skewers to simulate the engines pushing the plane forward (place the skewers against the rear of the engines and push).

The following article was just published by the Masterson Institute. It is a bit technical, but with some introduction to the terminology, it can add to your understanding. When the article uses the term “object”, it means a person who has psychological importance to you, since they play a role in your ability to regulate feelings. It can mean an actual physical person, but — even if it does — its more important meaning is psychological. We “internalize” . . . we built into ones self . . . what that person is to us. That person has a life — not just outside in the world — to a life INSIDE us.

The term “affect” means feeling. Affect regulation has to do with our ability to regulate our feelings on our own, and via persons whose characteristic ways of interacting with us are carried inside ourselves, to help us manage emotion.

The term “paranoid-schizoid position” refers to the way infants and very young children are psychologically organized inside. It is, I believe, an unfortunate term for a simple concept in which we all, originally, think in very simple terms or good and bad, right and wrong, safe and unsafe.

The term “depressive position”, again, could have been better named. The depressive position refers to having outgrown, somewhat, seeing everything in simple terms.

We have to be able to regulate emotions to move from the over-simplified way to seeing things to the more advanced way of seeing things.

And, when we get emotionally distressed, we can lose our ability to continue seeing things in more advanced way, and we slide back to oversimplified ways, such as safe and unsafe, and then get even more upset when we feel locked into an unsafe state (even though a person in the more advanced state would have a very different view).
========== THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FLIGHT ANXIETY ==========

Feeling Out of Control

Anxiety arises when we reach the limit of our ability to regulate affect internally. Since our internal ability is not easily increased, we turn outward for relief through control of the situation. If external control is insufficient, we seek escape from the situation, or from awareness of the situation.

Anxious fliers complain of “feeling out of control” on the plane. They have neither internal nor external means to regulate affect. Sensations of flight are so intrusive, particularly during takeoff and in turbulence, that strategies to escape awareness can fail even when aided by drugs and alcohol. Anticipating failure to control affect, some choose physically risker – but emotionally safer – transportation.

Thus, although risk of fatality is far greater when driving, anxiety is less. Imagination of a car coming at us is easily countered by imagination of escape, by turning the wheel. Though escape is not always
possible, this illusion of control preempts stress hormone release.

Rather Than Assurance, Statistics Provide A Focal Point For Distress

Statistics tell us the risk of crashing is one in several million flights. To the anxious flier, one in a million flights and one in a hundred-million flights mean the same thing. Both include the term “one”. How is the anxious flier to know he or she will not be that “one”? Awareness of safety as relative (rather than absolute) produces intolerable anxiety. The most remote possibility of disaster makes affect regulation impossible.

Affect regulation can be so limited that routine daily functioning demands rigidly correct alignment within a world of simplistic absolute categories: safe and dangerous, right and wrong, or good and evil. Any challenge to the this simplistic world-view causes anxiety, which leads to defense, such as attempts to convert others to the same point of view, or aggressive accusations of being unpatriotic or having no values.

Flying strips away the illusion of absolute control, and with it, the illusion of absolute safety. The more airtight the defense, the more dependent on absolutes, the less prepared one is for any confrontation with reality, including the confrontation with reality flying imposes.

Anxiety management can therefore be seen to be divided between two groups, each of which utilizes a different strategy. The first group, incapable of internal affect regulation, manages anxiety, ambiguity and conflict externally via control, illusion of control, and correct alignment within the absolute categories. Correct alignment may lead to control of others, conversion of others, or the destruction of others who are evil by virtue of being incorrectly aligned.

The second group, capable of affect regulation to manage anxiety, ambiguity and conflict internally, is able appreciate complexity, see humans as relational, values as relative, and discrete events as distributed to form a bell curve.

Concrete Support For Soothing Transitional Objects

For those who cannot manage affect regulation internally, concrete evidence of safety and connectedness becomes crucially important. Though high altitude cruise is the safest phase of flight, it is emotionally the most difficult phase, because of the earth’s remoteness. The earth, like Linus’s security blanket, is a Transitional Object, i.e. a concrete object that can be used to soothe the separation anxiety incurred when an object of attachment (like the mother) is not available, and the internalized representation of that object is not yet fully integrated. Internalized resentations of objects which cannot stand unaided are buttressed by the concreteness of the Transitional Object.

When the concreteness of a Transitional Object is compromised, its power to support internal representation is lost, and the Representational object loses the capacity to provide soothing. Therefore, when physical contact with the earth is lost, the power of the earth to reunite the anxious flier with any Object is lost. Difficulty with affect regulation begins when instant concrete access to the earth is lost by the closing of the aircraft’s door. Difficulty increases at the moment when contact is lost between the ground and the wheels of the aircraft.

Then, difficulty increases as the earth becomes more visually remote. This is evident in the following email from a client: “It may be my imagination, but the altitude affects me negatively. I’ve always said I wouldn’t mind flying if we weren’t up so high. For example, on a little commuter plane I didn’t fell nauseous at all. I was so excited. However, when I got on the plane to Germany (note: which flies higher), the same sick feeling came back.”

At lower flight altitudes, imagination that one could almost jump from here may provide sufficient soothing. Higher altitudes make the fantasy untenable and the earth’s ability to serve as a Transitional
Object tends to collapse.

Psychodynamic Theories Relevant To Fear Of Flying

The work of Melanie Klein provides a useful psychodynamic perspective from which the roots of fear of flying can be derived. Thus, the anxious flier starts, on the ground, in the Depressive Position
with insecure internal representations buttressed by the earth as Transitional Object. If in flight, everything representational, transitional, and concrete is lost, he or she plunges into the Paranoid-Schizoid Position, leaving him or her in a relational void in which positive self and other representations cannot be maintained, the world becomes full of threatening darkness, and panic results.

Note the concreteness of expression in this email: “As we were lifting off and once we were in the air, it felt like bubbles were building up and popping in my brain, it was actually slightly painful. My body feels so heavy and I’m afraid to move because it will make me feel dizzy and sick. Are these true physical feelings or is my mind causing these feelings?”

In the Paranoid-Schizoid position, concreteness becomes the primary perceptual and conceptual mode of apprehending the world. In the realm of concreteness, flight does not make sense, as it is based on Bernouilli’s theorum, an abstraction which can be processed by the left brain only when there is adequate soothing to support the ascendancy of abstract reasoning over the visual evidence that “nothing” is holding the plane up.

So long as left brain abstraction balances right brain visual evidence, the score is tied one to one, and anxiety is kept in check. But in turbulence, kinesthetic evidence – the sensation of falling – is added to the visual evidence. The score changes to: right brain, two; left brain, one. Closure, that the plane is indeed falling, takes place.

Imagination Triggers Stress Hormone Release

With closure, one shot of stress hormones is released which increases arousal, placing the person in the “fight or flight” response. This one shot of stress hormones will, on a scale of zero to ten, take a
person to two or three. But if further images of disaster follow, each will trigger one additional shot of stress hormones. A rapid sequence of images will cause a rapid sequence of hormone releases,
resulting in extreme arousal. In the absence of a neurally linked internal Soothing Object, extreme arousal is experienced as high anxiety or panic.

Panic Mimics - But Is Not - Death

For Self-Representation to exist, it must be constantly produced. When the mind is overwhelmed by affect, generation of positive Self and Object Representations falter. If the Self-Representation vanishes, its
momentary death may result in panic.

But panic is not always the result when Self-Representation production is overwhelmed. Consider other contexts; when sexual pleasure overwhelms the Self-Representation, the self, the loved one,
and the world are all one. We regard this as ecstasy.. When the Self-Representation drops away in sports, it is called “being in the zone”. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi titles his book on this subject “Flow”.

Absence Of Control = Abandonment Affect = Death

When in difficulty, pilots can also turn the wheel, or can turn to the flight manual for a procedure to avoid disaster. But for the anxious flier, control in someone else’s hand may seem worse than no control at all. Control in the hands of another can result in affect worse than death. The problem with flying is not BEING dead but GETTING dead; the affect one expects to experience when doomed.

What is the basis for such an expectation? The anxious flier “knows” and dreads what will be felt when plunging deathward, profoundly alone, utterly helpless, and nothing can be done. The fact that this experience is so familiar suggests it is not simply imagination. It may indeed be the implicit memory of early abandonment affect.

An implicit memory contains solely affect. It contains no data. It contains no autonoetic sense (the sense of ones self as the experiencer). Thus, when an implicit memory is recalled, the subject experiences what the implicit memory contains: affect. The implicit memory contains nothing to inform the subject that the affect is from memory; thus, it may appear to be causally connected to the present. This constitutes a “flashback”.

Abandonment affect can, in the absence of an internalized soothing object, reach a level at which the mind’s capacity to produce self-concept is overwhelmed. Loss of temporary self-concept may be experienced as death.

=========== PART TWO: TREATMENT OF FLIGHT ANXIETY ==========

Where Abandonment Is, Object Shall Be

A client said, “I just had a light bulb moment . . . why am I not afraid when I think of sitting in the front with the pilot . . . but lose it when I can’t see them in my mind?” Attachment Theory tells us the ability to be soothed by another person is part of our hardwiring. Object Relations Theory tells us that a person – and the soothing contact – can be internalized. Some of us have many neural connections which soothe; some of us have few.

When a harpoon is shot, it trails a line behind which connects the person firing it to the object the harpoon strikes and anchors itself into. Think of Winnicott’s “holding environment” as a circus tent in which a harpoon is fired. Whether aimed or not, the harpoon will hit some part of the tent and will anchor itself there. The trailing line connects the shooter with the tent.

In a soothing holding environment, every harpoon shot of self-activation becomes neurally connected with a reliably attuned Object. But if the holding environment is not a complete enclosure, or if the holding environment is capricious whether a harpoon shot of self-activation becomes neurally connected to soothing affect, or to abandonment affect, is hit-or-miss.

Masterson’s Personality Disorder Triad

Personality disorder results from a scarcity of neural connections between the child’s efforts at self-activation and a holding environment constituted by an available, attuned, empathic Object.

When self-activation is not neurally connected to a Soothing Object, self-activation leads to dysphoric affect. Attempting to self-activate, a client said, “If something goes wrong and the plane is about to crash, I won’t be able to handle it knowing I made the decision to take this flight.”

Providing Soothing Neural Connections

The treatment of flight anxiety requires nothing more than establishing a neural connection between every expected flight experience and the emotional component of a recalled experience with a Soothing Object.

First, the client selects a moment with another person which is pleasant to recall and, when re-lived, brings warm feelings. Moments frequently chosen are saying wedding vows, holding a newborn,
becoming engaged, walking on the beach with a loved one, or enjoying a family holiday feast.

Next, the client is asked to add something to the memory, to imagine a magazine is lying there, on the floor, on the sand, or on a table. The client is asked to imagine that on the magazine page, there is a
small black-and-white photograph of a flying scene, and to quickly refocus on the memory and the strong positive affect of the memory. A neural link between the flight image and soothing affect begins to be
formed. Repetition over several days establishes the link.

Each image that could come to mind during the flight is included in the exercise, including images of disaster. To introduce difficult material without causing stress hormone release, the client is asked
to imagine that, during the positive experience, a comic book was lying there. In the comic book, a cartoon character is seated on a plane. Though the plane is flying normally, the cartoon character is
imagining the disaster (depicted above the cartoon character’s head in what cartoonists call a “balloon”). The client quickly refocuses on the positive memory and its positive emotion. In this way a neural
link is made between a Soothing Object and images of hijacking, the plane falling, people screaming, etc.

Then, again using cartoon characters to prevent stress hormone release, one-by-one, each element of the fight or flight response is neurally connected to the Soothing Object: rapid heartbeat, rapid or
difficult breathing, sweatiness, confusion, disorientation or derealization, and tension in the body.

Limited Repair

This exercise achieves limited repair where anxiety arises due to inadequate neural connection between flight situations and an internalized Soothing Object. In my experience, after connecting each
flight situation to an Object, high anxiety does not develop, and panic is prevented.

The exercise can be applied to elevators, bridges, tunnels, or a MRI. It has been used successfully with one client suffering from fibromyalgia. In the treatment of personality disorder, if this approach can enhance affect regulation of dysphoric affect in the second step of the Triad, defense may be less pronounced.

Choosing An Airline

When considering airline travel, Captain Tom recommends you choose an airline with:

• an established track record
• a widely recognized brand name
• a pilot’s union
• minimal outsourcing of maintenance

Why are these important?

• With an established track record, statistics mean something. Since accidents happen rarely (only once in several million flights) it takes several millions of flights for statistics to reliably indicate a safety record due to commitment to safety rather than to luck.
• A widely recognized brand name means an airline is likely to regard safety as more important than an airline that can easily afford change its name after an accident.
• At a non-union airline, captains can be fired if they make too many waves about safety or refusing to exceed limits prescribed by law. At an airline with a pilot’s union, captains are backed up by the union when they refuse an airliner that needs maintenance or refuse to ignore legal limits.
• Mechanics employeed by an airline get passes for themselves and their family members. Self-preservation is a strong motivator to do good work. That motivation is lost when maintenance is outsourced.

Airlines Associated With ALPA, SWAPA or APA And With A Widely Recognized Brand Name

With two of the four criteria above established, the two variables are outsourcing rate and accident rate.

Listed in order of least outsourcing rate * followed by accident rate **

* outsourcing data source: Consumers Report March 2007** accident rate source: www.airsafe.com18% American Trans Air (insufficient flights for meaningful statistics)

47% American Airlines 0.40

48% Delta 0.17

63% United 0.31

68% Southwest 0.00

69% Continental 0.14

76% America West 0.00 (now merged with US Airways)

77% US Airways 0.28

80% Hawaiian Airlines (insufficient flights for meaningful statistics)

92% Alaska 0.33

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Strategy

Get to the boarding area early. Give a copy to the person in charge.
It asks they board you ahead of the other passengers; that makes it easy to meet the captain.

• If they agree to, stay nearby so they don’t forget.
• If they will not board you first, have them point out the boarding doorway. Stand as close to it as you can. (I say stand because, seats near the door may already be taken)

As soon as the first boarding announcement begins, board the plane.  Don’t wait for the announcement to end. The announcement usually goes like this:

“We would like to invite our first
class passengers to board now.”  This is followed by “people with children,
and anyone who needs extra time.”

“Extra time?”  That’s you. But don’t wait to hear that. As soon as you recognize the beginning of the boarding
announcement, get on!

Onboard

A flight attendant will ask for your boarding pass and point toward your seat. Say, “Thank you but I have to do something first.” Do not go to your seat. If you do, you will have to fight traffic to get back

Find a different flight attendant who has time to take the letter to the captain. As you enter the plane, the galley is usually straight in front of you. If not, it will be toward the front of the plane, so go left toward the front and find the galley. The flight attendant assigned to the galley can help. If no one is in the galley, just wait.

When you find a flight attendant, tell him or her the following:

• I’m an anxious flier, and . . .
• I’m working on it with someone, and . . .
• he says it is REALLY important for me meet the captain.
• I understand about security so I don’t want to go up to the cockpit
  unannounced, so . . .

• Please take this letter up to the captain for me.  (Place the letter in the
  flight attendant’s hand like you are serving a summons.)  Then say . . .

• I’ll wait right here while you check with the captain.

Two things can go wrong, so be prepared:

1. The flight attendant says, “Give me your seat number and if the captain
says it is OK, I’ll come and get you.” That is a brush off.  Do not accept it.  Instead, say, “I have to find out about this right now.  I’ll wait right here while you check.”

2. The flight attendant says, “Because of security, you can’t do that anymore.” That is not true.  So just say, “I understand, but please take the letter up  anyway. Maybe the captain - or the copilot - has a moment to come back.”

• Do not approach the cockpit; just get the letter carried there. If the captain gets the letter, he or she will meet with you.
• Approach the cockpit accompanied by a flight attendant. If the captain or flight attendant signals from inside the cockpit to come up, don’t. A sky marshall might not be able to see their signal. Wait to be accompanied.

Captains - because they love to fly - are always more than happy to help someone who is at trying to, at least, like it. Don’t worry about interrupting anything. The pilots have finished their checks BEFORE you board, so that if maintenance is needed, it can be done before departure time.

Why Does This Help So Much?

If you could fly in the cockpit, you would have a great flight. There would be no problem with anxiety because there would be no imagination. You would SEE what is going on. (imagination - not reality - is always the cause of anxiety). Since you can’t fly in the cockpit, the next best thing is to meet the pilots
who will.

Then, when you hear a noise or feel some unexpected motion, instead of picturing disaster, you will picture the captain’s face, and the captain’s confidence that he or she knows how to deal with anything that could possibly happen because he or she has been flying for many years and practices everything that could go wrong in the simulator every year during recurrent training.

• Ask the captain about possible turbulence.
• Ask the captain how much of a power change to expect at “noise abatement”.
• Ask if he or she will make extra announcements to explain what is going on.

Know that the toughtest part of the flight - now that you have learned how
to control anxiety DURING the flight - is in the boarding area. Once you meet the
captain, all your tools and skills and practice will “kick in.”

While in the boarding area, use the 5,4,3,2,1 to focus on things that do not
lead at all to anxiety.

Psychology of Flight Anxiety

Copyright © 2006 by SOAR, Inc.

All rights reserved.  No part of the SOAR Course may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or other means without prior written permission of SOAR Incorporated, Box 747, Westport, CT 06881-0747.

Disclaimer Of All Warranties And Liability

SOAR, Inc. makes no warranties, either expressed or implied with respect to SOAR Audio Course or its fitness for any purpose other than that of providing educational information.  It is sold with the understanding that in no event will SOAR, Inc. , those editing or contributing to the SOAR Course, be liable for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from its use.

Table of Contents

1.  Welcome

2.  Introduction

3.  What Causes Fear of Flying

4.  How Fear Of Flying Develops and How It Can Be Gotten Rid Of

5.  Seven levels of arousal

6.  Take Along My Phone Numbers

1.  Welcome

Problems with flying can lead us to think we lack something.  Actually, we lack nothing.  All that is needed to fly comfortably and confidently is motivation and adequate assistance.  If you are motivated to succeed, I believe our assistance will give you the results you want.

No other way to deal with flying equals what we have here.  The SOAR Video Course on DVD is - by itself enough for almost everyone.  When the Course is followed with a one-to-one counseling session tailored to meet individual needs, we rarely - if ever - fail to achieve success.

At this point, however, almost everyone seems sure nothing will work.  What a difference they find when they later fly!  I am truly pleased that you are beginning.  I look forward to sharing your joy, excitement and pride when the whole world is open to you.

But looking forward can lead to anxiety.  Why?  To master anything, we first learn “how to”.  Then, we “do”.  If we think of doing something before we know how to so it, we become anxious.  It is like being thrown into a pool before knowing how to swim.

So - when you think ahead toward successful flying - you may feel anxious.  This is completely natural.  But when you have completed SOAR you will know “how to”.  Until then, whenever you feel doubtful, whenever you feel uncomfortable, remember - next time you fly you will be prepared - next time can feel different - next time you will have a number of new ways to control unwanted feelings, any one of which can give you the help you need.

But for now, forget control.  Be gentle and understanding with yourself.  Just allow whatever thoughts, feelings, or doubts you have to be present as you continue learning “how to” gain control over the feelings which have made flying a problem.

As you go through the SOAR Course, certain parts will stand out.  Make notes so you can locate them later.  This enables you to review more efficiently to brush up when you have not flown for a while.

Some information useful to others will not be useful to you - and may not make sense to you.  Don’t spend time digging into information you do not find readily understandable.

If you want to go through a whole CD - or even several CDs - at one time, that can give you an overview.  But you really need to spend some time going through each DVD one idea at a time.  After the presentation of just one idea, stop the player, and take some time to mull it over. Let that single idea or technique “perk” by remaining active with you for a day.  Compare the way you have been seeing things before with using the idea or technique with how your see things without it.

This way, each idea which can make a difference will become part of you, and each idea which does not fit will be discarded.  Use the manuals the same way.  Read a bit.  Then check it out with your own experience for a day.

Each set of CDs provides information you need.  You will gain confidence about safety.  You will learn techniques which control the feelings you have tried unsuccessfully to control.

The full (guaranteed) SOAR Program consists of the SOAR Audio Course on CD plus a one-to-one counseling session with me - usually by phone - to strengthen your ability to fly.  It is designed to locate the process that cause feelings to grow and make changes so that uncomfortable feelings are no longer are present.

Counseling sessions can be done without purchasing any CDs at all.  But you have a better foundation if you have gone through the CDs first.

If you have an upcoming flight and feel you need more help, we can schedule a session.

Please feel free to call me at (877) 332-7359 or email me at

tom@fearofflying.com

with any questions you may have.

2.  Introduction to the SOAR Audio Course

The SOAR Audio Course contains what might be called “senior information.”  By this we mean information which everyone has the capacity to use, yet appears out of reach.

Whatever seems out of reach appears that way because of the concepts we hold about ourselves.  We have a concept of who we are (identity) and we have a concept of what we are capable of (ability).  Both these concepts are based on the past.  Both concepts are based on what psychologists call “mirroring of the self.”  Other people serve as “mirrors” of who we are.  The problem is, what others “mirror” back to us is distorted.  The “mirroring” others give us provides us with our “self-image.”  Since the “mirroring” is distorted, we gain a distorted “self-image” or “self-concept.”

Whatever self-image, whatever self-concept we have, it colors the present and limits the future when we operate in our ordinary way.  Though a “good” self-concept gives us more confidence than a “poor” self-concept, both can limit us when we operate in our ordinary way.

Ordinarily, we regulate how much effort we commit to an activity.  Ordinarily, we measure out a 50%, 80%, or 100% effort.  All of these, 50%, 80%, or 100%, are in proportion to what we - based on these concepts - believe we are capable of.

When we operate in an ordinary way, what we believe is our maximum effort is something other than that.  It is actually a MEASURED effort, 100% of what we believe we are capable of based on these concepts.

Since our self-concept is based on the past, when we operate in an ordinary way, we allow our future to be determined by our past.

The SOAR Course is about discovering your ability to operate in a way which is not simply a function of the past.  Senior information presents this choice.

Given less than “senior information,” people necessarily fail.  Less than “senior information” is dispensed when what works is not known, or when it appears the recipient does not have the capacity to use what works.  Some who approach teaching others to overcome fear of flying take the position that people who have fears are not very capable, and have to be given “crutches.”

They tell people that flying is absolutely safe.  Nothing is absolutely safe.  Everything we do has some level of risk, and everything we decide not to do also involves some risk.

People who have fears are capable.  They don’t have to be misled in order to fly.  In fact, people who have fears are potentially more capable that others, because they are more in touch with their feelings and with themselves.  It is only because they lack certain “senior information” that they appear to be less capable.  We have found no one, willing to follow the instructions of the SOAR Course, who has not been able to succeed.

That which works does so so invisibly that we do not notice it.  Or, if we do notice it, we fail to be impressed.  What works and works so invisibly?  This: when you choose to move your finger, your finger moves.

When you can be impressed with this phenomenon, overwhelmed by its simplicity and in awe with its being miraculous, then you will have made a start.

The SOAR Course is education and informational in nature.  It is in itself neither psychotherapy nor intended to be therapeutic.

We do provide counseling services which, when combined with the SOAR Audio Course, constitutes our Full Guaranteed Program.  Counseling is also available separately.

For other therapeutic assistance, a qualified professional should be consulted. Information contained in the SOAR Audio Course may be a useful adjunct to such therapy.

If any question about emotional of physical fitness to fly exists or arises, these should be addressed by a qualified therapist or a qualified physician before flying.

Though the education and information provided in the Course, many people have discovered an ability to fly satisfactory.  SOAR cannot guarantee the results for any individual other than as follows:

When you fly after completing the full program (which consists of the SOAR Audio Course and one-to-one counseling) if you are not satisfied, you receive a full refund.

You Have Already Done The Toughest Part.

You have already done the toughest part of overcoming fear of flying.  You have overcome two elements which can bar success.  They are:

• 1. unawareness that fear plays a dominant role in determining our choices and actions; and,
• 2. lack of determination to regain control.

This is important.  Everyone has fear.  Some are aware of fear, but keep it covered up.  Some have hidden their fear so well that they no longer are aware that they have it.  They are not in a position to accept what SOAR has to offer.

Your awareness about fear provides a unique opportunity.  This opportunity is so remarkable that you may later be grateful you had this problem to deal with and to learn from.

You have both the desire and the determination to deal with fear.  You might be surprised how many people contact us and claim they are interested in dealing with the problem . . . but later.  They do nothing.  It is all talk.

You are not all talk.  You are in action.  I congratulate you for what you are doing.  It is a great pleasure for us to assist you in getting what you want.  It is wonderful for us to know people who - like you - are in touch with feelings and are open about feelings.  It is inspiring to work with
people who are determined and courageous.

Being Courageous

You may not think of yourself as courageous.  Most people think courage is not having fear at all.  We think being courageous is having fear and being willing to have it while continuing.  Ralph Waldo Emerson agreed.  He said: “Courage consists in equality to the problem before us.”

It is not courageous to do something which we do not fear.  Courageous means being open enough and real enough and whole enough to have fear, and continue anyway.

Fearlessness Is Foolishness

Airline flying is not risky.  Some other flying, such as in supersonic jet Fighters, is downright hazardous.  Fighter pilots have this saying: “There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots.”

Fearlessness Is Fear That Is Covered Up

Much of what passes for courage is actually fear, the fear of appearing fearful.  Fearlessness is fear that is covered up.

We do NOT teach people to be fearless.  We do NOT teach people to ignore fear.  We do NOT teach people to block fear.  I have known many great race drivers and fighter pilots.  None of them used such methods.

Some were aware of their fear but did not know how to integrate it.  They did not let fear stop them.  They toughed their way through.  But, because fear was not embraced, and thus integrated, it bothered them enough to keep them from performing with the best.

Facing Fear

Others pretended to be fearless.  They sought to prove what they pretended was true.  In their quest, they overextended real limits.  None of them survived.

Face And Embrace Fear

The great ones, though, not only recognized fear but embraced fear.  This allowed them to integrated it into the fabric of their experience.  They did nothing to “deal with” fear.  Instead, they simply allowed fear to be a necessary part of doing anything new, of doing anything unknown, and doing anything which appears to involve risk.  They lived, loved, flew and drove on the edge of what is possible and what is fatal and survived.  THEY WERE MAGIC!  They performed brilliantly.  As if living a charmed life, they seemed able to enter the jaws of disaster and return.  Theirs was a different sort of boldness - not boldness to establish their fearlessness - but the boldness to recognize fear and continue, ultimately embracing fear and making fear an
integral part of experiences.

Does it seem bold to embrace fear?  It is not.  When we look unreservedly at things, we embrace them as they are.  To face and embrace life’s unknowns and risks is an authentic form of self-expression.

Fear Is Essential

It is essential to have fear.  We need it to alert us when danger MAY be present.  It automatically prepares the body for action.  We master fear by learning to embrace it as a natural and essential part of living; otherwise, fear masters us.

Fear Dominates Us If We Resist It

If we are unwilling to experience the sensations of readiness which we call fear, we avoid all that is unfamiliar and unknown.

It is impossible to block these normal physical sensations.  They stop only through a process in which the unfamiliar becomes familiar, or the unknown becomes known.  Psychologists call this process “desensitization.”  It simply means after enough exposure to something, automatic reactions when exposed to it no longer take place because it has become familiar and known.

Unwillingness to experience these sensations blocks the “desensitization” process.  Blockage of the process causes fear to become fixed, which can lead A person to make to major compromise: avoidance of all activity that is unfamiliar or unknown.

An Essential Distinction

We need to begin making a distinction between fear and danger.  What we call fear is the body going on alert.  The best alert is instantaneous and automatic.  This is what the mind-body interaction provides.  But fear is ONLY an alert signal.  FEAR SIGNIFIES UNCERTAINTY.  FEAR DOES NOT EQUAL DANGER.  Our correct response to the alert signal is to resolve the uncertainty.  If there is in fact danger, action may be necessary.  For that possibility, the body is primed by fear to be ready.

Neither fear not the physical sensations connected with fear are equivalent to danger.  The sensations are frequently just a false alarm.

We are slow when we wake up in the morning.  Yet, we are instantly ready for action if a smoke-alarm sounds during our sleep.  There may be no danger, but we are ready in case there is.

Yes, we experience these physical sensations in some cases of real danger.  But just as often, we are exposed to real danger and experience no physical sensations at all.  Many times when driving cars come toward you at 50 M.P.H. and pass by with a spacing of only a few feet.  Some of these cars are driven by people impaired by alcohol or drugs.  Almost every time you get in a car, you place yourself in genuine danger.  But you have done this so many times, you are desensitized.  Though you are in real danger, your alarm does not
produce the physical sensations of fear.

Fear Is Like A Smoke Detector

Fear - like a smoke detector alarm in your house - goes off automatically. You can not prevent it unless - unwisely - you disconnect it.

There are people who masquerade as fearless.  They may convince us there is something is wrong with us.  Many people we work with have been the victim of such deceit.  They have been made to believe they are weak because they experience fear’s physical sensations.  They have been taught that they have a character defect.  To try to be like the “fearless” claim to be, we may seek to rid ourselves of fear’s physical sensations.  This is no solution.  Your most superhuman efforts will not control fear’s automatic signals.

Fear’s automatic feelings can not be simply “disconnected.”  Even if it were possible, it would be unwise.  Though there are times when fear is a nuisance, there are also times fear is needed to alert us to a situation which demands action.

Regardless of how disturbing these sensations are, you need to learn not to try to control them.  You need to learn not to try to suppress them, nor to deny them.  Not because you might succeed and actually “disconnect” them, but because this is wasting efforts trying to do something impossible.

Later on in the SOAR Course you will understand they what you suffer from is not these uncontrollable automatic feelings.  Suffering comes primarily due to trying to control uncontrollable automatic feelings.

Some “Senior Information”

If you have been trying to ignore, suppress, deny, or block fear, you need to reverse your orientation.  You need to maximize awareness of the physical sensations associated with fear.  To begin with, in order to reverse habits, you will need to actively seek maximum awareness of the physical sensations.  Later on, you can simply allow these feelings to be.

Non-automatic Thoughts And Feelings Follow The Automatic Ones

Suffering comes primarily from the non-automatic thoughts and feelings which follow automatic feelings.  The thoughts and feelings which follow CAN be managed and controlled.  This means the primary source of suffering due to fear can be relieved.

How We Begin

How do we deal with these sensations?  What is the first step?  The first
step is to make several distinctions.

Awareness Is Key

It will take some time and concentration of your awareness.  So, we want you now to begin observing in minute detail every sensation and every though you have during the experience of fear.  The purpose of this is to begin making it possible for you to notice that there is a distinction between the automatic sensations that occur instantly and the thoughts that follow and themselves cause additional feelings.

To do this, you will need to turn around your orientation from trying to
avoid, trying to ignore, trying to block the physical sensations of fear and
focus your attention powerfully on every nuance, on every slight anxiety,
every suggestion of fear or anxiety, on the earliest, tiniest signal of fear
or anxiety.

Fear and Danger Are Not The Same Thing

Danger is the potential for harm exists.  Fear is a constellation of sensations in your body as your body prepares itself in case YOU INTELLECTUALLY determine potential for harm indeed exists.

A Feeling Is Inadequate As Proof Of Danger. 

You can be in danger and feel no fear whatsoever.  You can be absolutely safe and yet be gripped with terror.

You cannot depend upon feeling.  Feeling is inadequate to determine actual potential for harm.  Though feeling may have been adequate thousands of years ago in a primitive world, feeling is not even close to adequate in our sophisticated modern world.

Disregard The Kind Of Flying You Wouldn’t Be Involved In

Right from this point, begin making a distinction between flight in the United States and flight in countries which do not provide up-to-date aviation services.  Some accidents which occur in third-world countries could not happen in the U.S., Canada, Europe, Australia or Japan.

A distinction will allow you to understand that, although you can read of crashes every day, the flights you are preparing yourself for involve an entirely different form of aviation.

For example, most of us travel in automobiles.  What effect would it have on our travel by car to learn of a crash at the Indianapolis 500?  A race car crash does not lead us to believe our own car is dangerous.  Why?  We draw a distinction between race cars and the cars we use.  Similarly, no air crash should cause you any concern unless it is a crash of an airline you would ordinarily choose which was operating in a country where you would ordinarily fly.

There is no significant connection between amateur pilots flying small propeller-drive airplanes and profession pilots flying jet-liners . . . Other than both are called airplanes, and both are operated in the air by people called pilots.  There is nothing about a crash by an amateur pilot that should lead you to connect risk to flying an airliner piloted by a professional pilot.

Airline Flying Is A Minor Risk

It takes a book larger than the Manhattan telephone directory to list the flights that take place in the U. S. every day.  Yet, years go by without a single fatality on any established major airline.

During the SOAR Course you will make distinctions between established major U. S. airlines and other operations.  Many new operations have sprung up since deregulation of the airline industry.  Some of these new “airlines” are sound, and some are not.  But the safety record of the major U. S. airlines - and most foreign airlines - is magnificent.

Less professional operations should be placed in a separate category in your thinking.  Yet, even when all airline operations are lumped together, flying is still far safer than driving.  In the 70’s flying across the country thirty times was less risky than driving just once.  Today, it is even safer.

If something fails on your car, you can simply get out.  Since that is not possible on a plane, we speculate that planes are more dangerous.  They are not.

If something fails on a car, it stops running.  But if something fails on an airliner, it keeps running.  A back-up system takes over for every possible failure.  There are even back-ups for the back-up systems.

The Safety Of “Third Generation Airliners”

In its thirty years of operation, there has only been one fatal crash of a 747 in the U.S.  The design work done on the 747 took aircraft engineering to a new higher standard.  As a result of this new standard and the ability these third generations airliners to be landed automatically - removing the possibility of pilot error - there have been no accidents or fatalities with the 757, 767, 777 or the Airbus 319 (and higher numbers).

You are safer while flying these airliners than you are while sleeping at home in your own bed.

The Basis For SOAR

SOAR is based on how pilots and race drivers deal with enormous risk, flying supersonic jet fighter aircraft and driving race cars.  Once you learn the secrets of dealing with enormous risk, you will be able to deal with the minor risk of airline flight.

SOAR’s basis was not discovered flying airliners.  The risk is far too small.  We will always have physical sensations associated with the unfamiliar and the unknown.  The feelings you have when boarding an airliner can be very much like the feelings an astronaut has when boarding a rocket.

What we are teaching is what Tom Wolfe called “The Right Stuff,” the ability of astronauts and jet fighter pilots to operate knowing that there is a potential for disaster in what they have chosen to do.  They make an assessment of risk potential and make a choice to do it or not.  If they
choose to do it, they embrace whatever fear exists while doing it as just a part of the whole experience.  This embrace of risk and fear - the “Right Stuff” - allows pilots and astronauts to operate in the most efficient way to maintain their safety, free of risk that they will be overwhelmed by fear.

Everyone has this ability, but it does not become developed in most of us in the ordinary course of life.  In SOAR we do not seek to make astronauts or fighter pilots out of you, but to develop this very same quality - this somewhat dormant ability you already have - to embrace and integrate the risks that everyone needs to face when life is well lived.

Many people avoid common minor risks.  To face a minor risk after years of avoidance requires more “Right Stuff” than an astronaut needs when being shot off into space.  What you are doing is downright heroic!

Congratulate yourself for having the willingness to face this.  You have demonstrated - by having started this quest - exactly what Emerson says courage is: “equality to the problem before us.”

3.  What Causes Fear Of Flying.

Vulnerability to fear of flying can stem from a lack of something we call “self-soothing.”  When the young child starts to walk, and to explore the world, mishaps occur.  The child falls or bumps into something.  The child rushes back to mom for soothing.  If mom is consistently available to provide soothing followed by encouraging the child to try again, her soothing techniques get built into the child’s memory until the child can soothe himself or herself by recalling and imagining mom’s actions.

You can see toddlers “practicing” this by soothing their dolls. In time, self-soothing becomes automatic and operates unconsciously.  Things that might upset us get neutralized unconsciously by the self-soothing operating automatically.

Two things can go wrong.  One: good self-soothing was not built in; or, two: a good supply was built in but later events damaged it.

Good self-soothing is transportable and genuinely owned by the individual. Some moms supply loads of self-soothing but only through a psychological umbilical cord.  When one ventures from home, the cord - like a rubber band - gets stretched, and threatens to break and result in panic.

Some families teach children that safe and unsafe are - not relative - but absolutes.  This is an oversimplification.  Nothing we do - or nothing we avoid doing - guarantees absolutely safety.

Thus, things we do routinely - even though they have some risk - get put in the “absolutely safe” category because they never killed us.  Things we don’t do routinely?  Well we aren’t sure.  So, without being absolutely sure, since there is no intermediate category (but only safe and unsafe), that activity has to be placed in the “unsafe” category.

We do this without really being aware of it, and unaware of it, we don’t examine this black-and-white thinking.  We need to.

If we have been - aware of not - putting things into these absolute categories, when something does go wrong (such as the death of someone special) it throws us for a loop.  We thought everything was going to work out.  Now we find it is a lie.  That kind of trauma can damage self-soothing which is placed on a foundation of absolute safety and unsafety.

When a seemingly reliable supply of self-soothing is tied to these absolute categories, the death or serious injury exposes these belief that “everything is going to work out fine” is a lie, a house of cards we have been depending upon.

This can damage self-soothing in a general way so that anxiety can arise about virtually everything.

Or, a bad flight or being mugged can damage self-soothing in a more limited way so that one avoids flying in similar conditions or certain street situations.

If self-soothing is not transportable, problems arise when going out into the world on our own. Leaving home separates us from our source of soothing.  Stress increases in the teens and twenties as we venture from home.  We handle the anxiety by maintaining the option - if panic threatens - to turn around and head toward home.  Just knowing we have the option can prevent panic and anxiety.

Anything that blocks this option is a threat.  Fear of flying presents a dual problem.  It blocks our option - if anxiety arises - to head home; the pilot is not going to respond if we change our mind.

But it is worse than that, we have stretched that umbilical cord that is connected to non-transportable self-soothing both horizontally and vertically.

Now that you can see how guarantees of safety, or assurance of safety may not hold up, how is it some people don’t have this problem.

Research by Allan Schore indicates that the area that provides “executive control” of emotions is the right pre-frontal orbito cortex.  This area is supposed to develop between birth and eighteen months.  The physical development of this area depends upon stimulation.  Stimulation causes blood flow in the area which causes that part of the brain to physically increase in size.

What kind of stimulation is needed?  The infant needs a mother (or whoever plays the role of mother) who is consistently available and consistently attuned to the child’s feelings and use eye-to-eye contact to signal to the infant that the mother knows what the child is feeling.

To a great extent, our identity is our feelings.  The infant seems to believe its identity is its feeling.  And if its feelings exist in relationship to the mother in a way that the child feels felt and thus feels understood, the child develops within a context of safety.  After all, mom is pretty much all-powerful to the infant, so safety depends upon mom knowing - and caring about - and responding to - the infant’s feelings.

If, on the other hand, the infant’s feelings are not met in this way by the mother, even if the child is well taken care of, the development of the right prefrontal cortex may not be optimal.

We need this area of the brain as adults to regulate our emotions.  But without the right kind of attuned stimulation early in life, that part of the brain may not be physically developed as well as we might wish.

4.  How Fear Of Flying Develops And How It Can Be Gotten Rid Of

High anxiety levels are the result of a rapid sequence of worries, none of which alone would cause high anxiety.  One single thought, no matter how awful, will produce high anxiety.

A troublesome thought sequence develops over time as you collect more and more things to worry about.  These are often based on the mistaken belief that you were in danger during flights you took when you were not at all.  Other sources include information - often misinformation - in the media.  Hollywood contributes to the collection, generally with things that are impossible, but - not being a pilot - how would you know?  One particularly difficult thought is what it was like for some person on a doomed flight. What people really experience when doomed, it is not what you imagine.

But you have your own personal file folder entitled “disastrous things that could happen to me if I fly.”  Once several ideas have accumulated there, one thought can come to mind, cause anxiety, and trigger another thought, which causes more anxiety, etc.

The sum total of anxiety can reach a high, but tolerable level.

But, when the anxiety-producing sequence has been allowed to run again and again and again, the sequence of fear focus points transforms itself from a rapid-firing sequence which produces high but tolerable anxiety to a group of anxiety-producing thoughts which fire as an intolerable panic-producing unit.

Fortunately, the Strengthening Exercise which you will learn in The Control of Anxiety DVDs disassembles this unit so the whole collection of thoughts stops firing in unison.

The Strengthening Exercise also prevents the anxiety build-up that originally was the problem.

This means that with sufficient practice of the Strengthening Exercise before you
fly, you can not only prevent panic but return to the mild levels of  anxiety that went unnoticed back before flying was identified as a problem.

However, the level of anxiety that once went unnoticed will be noticed.  Thus, there can be worry that even this mild and once unnoticed anxiety may turn at any moment into panic as it used to prior to learning and practicing the Strengthening Exercise.

Anticipatory anxiety may persist until you have done enough post-Strengthening Exercise flying to develop confidence and reliance on the change.

In the meantime, use the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Relaxation Exercise to manage anticipatory anxiety as it arises.  It can also be used when in flight as a backup to the Strengthening Exercise, or if you have not yet learned the Strengthening Exercise.

5. Seven Levels Of Arousal

7. flooding

6. agitation/excitement

5. alert processing

4. alert not-processing

3. drowsy

2. active sleep

1. deep sleep

This gives you a sort of road map of where you want to be when flying. You want to be in level 5, alert processing. This is the level at which you have maximum use of your cognitive abilities, and can focus you mind anywhere you want to. In level 6, you cannot focus your mind at will because something is pulling it like a magnet. In level 7, you have so much going on that you can’t process it and panic can take place.

The mistake people make is trying to stay unaware, trying to not think about what they are experiencing; or in other words, they try to stay in level 4, alert not-processing. That doesn’t work because when you don’t process what is coming in and through your mind, it builds up and runs you up to level 7, flooding. It is like charging things on your credit card but doing it without being aware of it. When the bill comes, you may feel panic.

Stay in level 5. The strengthening exercises is designed to automatically help you stay in level 5 where your cognitive abilities are at their peak.

6. TAKE ALONG CAPT TOM’S PHONE NUMBERS

In the US and Canada, toll free (877) 332-7359. Outside, (203) 258-4803.

SOAR PRE-FLIGHT CHECKLIST

Consideration Checklist

• List your options: to fly, to drive, to take the train, or to stay home.
• Organize each option as a set; list the desirable and the undesirable

  features of each option.

• List the best and the worst result that could happen in each option.
• List the best and the worst feelings that could happen in each option.
• These steps lead to a sense of which option is in your best interest.
• Make a tentative commitment to the option that is in your best interest.

Tentative Commitment Checklist

• Are you willing to risk encountering every feeling?
• Are you willing to risk encountering every result?
• If so, consider yourself tentatively committed.

Absolute Commitment Checklist

• List your secret “ways out”. What could occur which could melt your

  resolve? (such as not sleeping the night before, news of an accident,

  weather you may mistakenly think is risky, or worry about turbulence)

• Are you doing this no matter what – even if it kills you?
• Is your commitment so absolute that your being on that flight is as

  certain as if you were already on board with the door closed?

• When you notice anxiety disappear, you have moved into the APNR
  (Abstract Point Of No Return).

• Expect to have to redo this. Even seemingly absolute commitment

  may vanish and need to be redone.

Non-Absolute Commitment Checklist

• Anticipatory anxiety comes from giving up control to a person with

  whom you have – as yet – no caring and responsive relationship.

• Anticipatory anxiety vanishes upon meeting, and becoming confident

  about, your captain.

• Your commitment to fly is tentative and is to be firmed up one way

  or the other only after boarding and meeting the captain.

• Your commitment is to board and to meet the captain – not to fly.

Day Of Flight Checklist

• Wake up according to your plan. Tension? Do 5,4,3,2,1 if needed.
• Monitor continuously for first indications of tension. Use 5,4,3,2,1.
• Before leaving home, satisfy yourself that preparations are complete.
• Leave early to allow a leisurely drive. Notice scenery during drive.

Take With You Checklist

• Magazines, puzzles, video game, letter of introduction copies, MP3.
• Stay occupied visually with the real (”what is”) rather than the

  imaginary (”what if”).

• Paper and pen for writing down any thought that causes anxiety.

  Include it in your next Strengthening Exercise practice session.

• A sticky note saying, “If I can read this, it is not yet time to worry,”

  to stick on the seat in front of you (for turbulence).

• Luggage, carry ons, money, credit cards, identification, passport

  if applicable, ticket or e-ticket info, my phone numbers.

Airport Checklist

• Check in early. Check all baggage. Carry on only essential items.
• Bring in full experience of all sounds, sights, smells, feelings of the
  airport and terminal environment.

• Stop and sit down or stand in one spot. Take in everything. Tell

  yourself what you see and hear.

• For each anxiety thought, make up two non-threatening explanations:
  one reasonable and one absurd.

• Focus just on sounds. Identify sounds you can. Note your tension level.
• Shift to hear the sounds as just vibrations. Listen to them as you listen

  to music. Note a possible lowering of your tension level.

• Focus just on things you see. Identify the things you can.

  Note your tension level.

• Shift to seeing them as shapes, forms, colors.
• Look at them as if they were shapes in an abstract painting. Note a

  possible lowering of your tension level.

Boarding Checklist

• Ask Gate Agent to board first by presenting letter of introduction.
• Observe from boarding lounge window what is outside the jetway.

  When later in the jetway, use your imagination to picture things you

  are now seeing outside the jetway.

• Notice whether the jetway is uphill, downhill, or level, so you will

  know what to expect when inside it.

• This is the worst part of the flight because everything is ahead of

  you and the Strengthening Exercise has not yet kicked in.

• Strategy: tell yourself that if you “bail out” you will do it AFTER

  meeting the captain IF you don’t feel better by then.

• USE THE 5,4,3,2,1.
• If Gate Agent will not board you first, stand at the jetway entry.

  Go on immediately at the start of the first boarding announcement.

• Touch the side of plane. Prove how solid, strong and firm it is.
  Find a flight attendant not directing passengers to their seats. Ask

  that the letter be taken to the captain while you wait there.

SOAR FLIGHT CHECKLIST

Preparation Checklist

• Monitor your experience. Scan your body for physical sensations and

  tension. If you notice any, use the 5,4,3,2,1 exercise to focus on what

  is real (”what is”) around you rather than imaginary (”what if”).

• Instead of making feelings your “enemy” and something to fight off,
  recognize them as just what they are: feelings that result from thoughts.

• Ask yourself if there is any solid indisputable evidence that the thought
  accurately represents reality. Recognize thoughts that lack the solid

  indisputable evidence as just what they are: thoughts.

• The feelings caused by thoughts which are not based on solid evidence

  mean nothing at all. Fear based on imagination means nothing at all

  about any actual danger.

• For each anxiety thought, make up two non-threatening explanations:

  one reasonable and one absurd.

Door Closure Checklist

• Prep yourself for the door closing: visualize you – yourself – closing

  the door. Describe scene to yourself.

Takeoff Checklist

• Accept that when the engine revs up, it will stir a response, just as a

  crescendo in music stirs a response.

• Accept that acceleration – which needs to happen – will press you back

  in your seat.

• Track increase in speed by wiggling toes more rapidly as speed increases.
• Watch outside and attempt to predict when the nose will rise.
• Notice liftoff. Since you are well past V-1, you have it made, so you can

  relax now.

• Listen for a thump indicating the gear is up followed by less wind noise

  as the gear doors close.

• Expect power changes and corresponding lightness and heaviness as

  the plane stair-steps during climb.

• Accept that there will need to be turns which require the plane to bank.
  Banking is safe.

• Flip through magazine ads – if needed – to keep visual thinking real.

Turbulence Checklist

• Turbulence is natural, routine and never a problem for the airplane.
• The airplane never falls but may feel like that due to motion in the thick

  (due to speed) jell-o-like air.

• Post a note on the seatback in front of you: “If I can read this, it is not

  yet time to worry.”

Descent And Landing Checklist

• Accept that there may be stair-stepping during descent.
• Accept that large power changes are required to change speed and
  accommodate gear and flap extension.

• A noise similar to a blender is associated with flap extension.
• An increase in wind noise – and possibly a thump – are associated

  with gear extension. You might hear a sound like water flowing through

  pipes, which
  is hydraulic fluid going through pipes to move the gear.

• Feel a vibration? The speed brakes are being used, the flap setting

  is being changed, or the flaps are at the maximum extension for landing.

• Landing guidance is electronic. Plane can be landed automatically.

For everything needed on the plane, there is a main system, a standby system,
a backup system and an emergency system.

Warning systems are active to warn the pilots of any possible mistake.

You are safer on a modern jetliner than sleeping in your own bed at night.

Enjoy your flights.

Call If You Need To: (877) 332-7359, or (203) 258-4803

How Flying Works

Copyright © 2006 by SOAR, Inc.

All rights reserved.  No part of the SOAR Video Course may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or other means without prior written permission of SOAR, Inc., Box 747, Westport, CT 06881-0747.

Disclaimer of all warranties and liability

SOAR, Inc. makes no warranties, either expressed or implied with respect to SOAR Video Course or its fitness for any purpose other than that of providing educational information.  It is sold with the understanding that in no event will SOAR, Inc., those editing or contributing to the SOAR Video Course, be liable for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from its use.

Table Of Contents

1.  Noise Abatement

2.  Not Smooth?  Not A Problem

3.  Are We Going Down?

4.  C.A.T.

5.  A Little Turbulence Never Hurt Anyone

6.  The Plane Can’t Fall

7.  Wind Shear

8.  What Happens If The Engines Quit?

9.  The Best Single Thing You Can Do

10. Take Along Capt Tom’s Phone Numbers

1. Noise Abatement

On some take-offs, we reduce power at one-thousand feet (roughly twenty-seconds after lift-off).  It can be frightening if you don’t know what it’s all about.

Imagine this: you get in an elevator on the ground floor, and press the button for the tenth floor. As the elevator starts to rise, you feel heavy. As the elevator passes the ninth floor, the elevator slows its ascent so it can stop at the tenth floor.

Slowing your ascent in the elevator makes you feel “light-headed.”  Slowing your ascent in the airplane makes you feel “light-headed.”

In an elevator you know what is going on and interpret the feeling correctly.  But in an airplane, since you have been expecting it to fall, you interpret the feeling incorrectly.  When you hear the engines get slower and quieter, you think ” falling.”  Incorrect.  Just slowing your ascent.

Expect to get that “elevator slowing feeling” during takeoff.  First, heavy as you leave the ground (like leaving the ground floor), and then light as you slow your ascent (like passing the ninth floor).  It is routine, but not noticeable on every take-off.  When you meet the captain, ask if there is going to be a noticeable power change.

2. Not Smooth?  Not A Problem.

The airplane couldn’t be happier than when in turbulence. Turbulence is as natural as Ben & Jerry’s.  What’s special about Ben & Jerry’s is lumps of goodies in the ice cream.  You get natural lumps in the air when flying on the edge of the jet stream.

The jet stream is caused naturally by the earth’s rotation. If you fly in the middle of the jet stream, where all the air is moving at the same speed, the flight is smooth.  It’s like vanilla ice cream.  But on the edge of the jet stream, it’s Cherry Garcia.  There are lumps mixed in with the smooth stuff.

You may like the smoothness of vanilla better than the lumps in Cherry Garcia, but the plane is just as happy with lumpy Cherry Garcia as with silky smooth vanilla.

3. Are We Going Down?

Tensing your arms and legs shifts body weight from the seat to the armrest and floor.  Less body weight in the seat feels like going down even when you aren’t.  You “fly by the seat of your pants” too.  So before takeoff, lift up your arms and legs and “calibrate your instrument”.  When you get the impression the plane may be going down, lift up your arms and legs and compare the body weight in the seat with your calibration.

You can also mistakenly think you are going down when you focus on the “downs” and fail to notice that notice the “ups” have put the plane right back where it started.  Try matching every down with its corresponding up.

4. C.A.T.

Clear air turbulence forecasts are not accurate enough to help much. Pilots get the best information from listening in on the radio. We avoid reported turbulence by changing altitudes; this is not for safety at all.  It is for passenger and flight attendant convenience.

In some situations, the smooth altitudes are already taken by other aircraft. Or, all practical altitudes have turbulence.

A different kind of turbulence can exist around thunderstorms. We can see them on radar. If the thunderstorm is isolated, we can go around it. But if there is a line of thunderstorms, we have to pick a gap between two storms which may still be somewhat turbulent.

5. A Little Turbulence Never Hurt Anyone

Nor did a lot (of turbulence) if they had on a seat belt.  You can avoid ever being harmed by turbulence if you use your seat belt even loosely.

How Much Does The Plane Move In Turbulence?

Test it.  Get a half-cup of soda, and hold it on your tray table.  If the plane should drop a foot, the soda would be a foot above the cup.  You’ll never see anything like that.  The plane moves only inches in turbulence.

That inch or two is magnified by imagining you are up and vulnerable.  You are up high, but you are not vulnerable.  Why?  Because, at several hundred miles per hour, air becomes as thick as jell-o.  Imagine a plate of jell-o with a piece of pineapple in the middle of it.  You can pick up the plate and shake the jell-o, but there is nothing you can do to make the pineapple plunge.

6. The Plane Can’t Fall

The plane is held as solidly in the air as the pineapple is held in the jell-o.  Both have some elasticity, so you can move.  But you can’t fall because the air is too thick, like jell-o.

7. Wind Shear

Wind shear problems are so rare that until the 1980s no one knew wind shear could cause an accident.  When it learned it could, we took action.  Now, Doppler radar detects wind shear; if significant, the airport is shut down until it goes away.

8. What Happens If The Engines Quit?

They don’t.  But that doesn’t keep you from imagining it.  You have two engines.  The plane flies fine on one.  But “what if” both quit?  Would the plane fall?  No, it would glide.  But modern jet engines can outlast a thousand Energizer Bunnies.  They are so reliable they can run for years and years (electric companies literally do that with them to produce electric power) without problems.

9. The Best Single Thing You Can Do

Would you have an operation without meeting the doctor?  Why would you take a flight without meeting the captain?  You’ll sense how competent and confident she or he is.  During the flight, you will know you are not alone.  After all, you and the captain are “in the same boat.”  When you feel a bump or hear a noise, you don’t have to worry about it.  You can picture the captain there in control.  You know she or experienced the same thing, or made it happen intentionally.

Embarrassed?  Blame it on me; tell them I made you promise to do it.

10. Take Along Capt Tom’s Phone Numbers

In the US and Canada, toll free (877) 332-7359. Outside, (203) 258-4803.

The Control Of Anxiety

Copyright © 2006 by SOAR, Inc.

All rights reserved.  No part of the SOAR Course may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or other means without prior written permission of SOAR,  Inc., Box 747, Westport, CT 06881-0747.

Disclaimer Of All Warranties And Liability

SOAR, Inc. makes no warranties, either expressed or implied with respect to the SOAR Video Course on DVD or its fitness for any purpose other than that of providing educational information.  It is sold with the understanding that in no event will SOAR Incorporated, those editing or contributing to the SOAR Course, be liable for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from its use.

Table of Contents

1.   Parachute (if overwhelmed on a flight)

2.   Seven Levels of Arousal

3.   Anticipatory Anxiety

4.   Overall Strategy for Your Flight

5.   The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

6.   What Are Relaxation Exercises All About

7.   Meeting the Captain

8. Dealing With Longer Flights

9. Get The “Take Me Along” Audio Tracks

10. Elevators, Bridges, Tunnels, Car Trips

11. Partial Erasure of a Traumatic Memory (use only if taught in counseling session)

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1. Parachute
(For use if overwhelmed during a flight)

Once you have the Strengthening Exercise working, you will not get overwhelmed during a flight. Still, it is nice to know you have a backup whether you need it or not. If you are traveling with someone, teach them how to get you to “bail out” from an internal “movie.” The following are instructions for your partner to follow.

If someone “goes into his/her own movie” (vividly imagining disaster inside the mind), you need to pull them back outside to reality.

• Put your face just a few inches right in front of their face.
• Point to your eye, and saw, “What color is my eye?” Repeat until you get an
  answer.

• Hold up some fingers and say, “How many fingers do I have up?” Repeat,
  demanding, until you get an answer.

• Point to something and ask its color.
• Point to something and demand the person name it.

The object is to get the person out of what is going on inside, and keep them outside until they become calm again.

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2. Seven Levels Of Arousal

7. flooding

6. agitation/excitement

5. alert processing

4. alert not-processing

3. drowsy

2. active sleep

1. deep sleep

This gives you a sort of road map of the different emotional levels you could be at when flying. You want to be in level 5, alert processing. This is the level at which you have maximum use of your cognitive abilities, and can focus you mind anywhere you want to. In level 6, you cannot focus your mind at will because something is pulling it like a magnet. In level 7, you have so much going on that you can’t process it and panic can take place.

The mistake people make is trying to stay unaware, trying to not think about what they are experiencing; or in other words, they try to stay in level 4, alert not-processing. That doesn’t work because when you don’t process what is coming in and through your mind, it builds up and runs you up to level 7, flooding. It is like charging things on your credit card but doing it without being aware of it. When the bill comes, you may feel panic.

Stay in level 5. The Strengthening Exercises is designed to automatically help you stay in level 5 where your cognitive abilities are at their peak.

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3. Anticipatory Anxiety

Anticipatory anxiety is not flight anxiety. Having one does not mean you will have the other.

When having anticipatory anxiety as a flight approaches, a person can easily worry that this means they will also have flight anxiety. That is not true. Flight anxiety is different.

So, use the 5-4-3-2-1. You have absolute control over anticipatory anxiety when you use it.

Though they know the 5-4-3-2-1 will stop the anxiety, people don’t use it because they are testing the situation. They are concerned about how much anxiety then will feel when they fly. They mistakenly believe that anticipatory anxiety is an indicator of the flight anxiety they will feel. So, instead of using the 5-4-3-2-1 to control anticipatory anxiety, they keep practicing the Strengthening Exercise in hopes that it will get rid of the anticipatory anxiety which will then give them confidence that it will work on the plane.

It doesn’t work  that way. The Strengthening Exercise controls anxiety which is triggered from outside yourself. When data from outside enters the mind, it goes by the amygdala. The Strengthening Exercise is all about controlling what happens as data from outside comes by the amygdala.

One has nothing to do with the other. So, just use the 5-4-3-2-1.

Anticipatory anxiety, which is mostly about turning over control to someone, ends when you meet the captain. At that point, automatic control of the flight anxiety will kick in.

Though the Strengthening Exercise — once you have practiced it enough to make it work automatically — can provide excellent protection against high anxiety (Level 6) and flooding (Level 7) , you will not KNOW that it is working until you have actually tested it by flying. The “before-and-after” experimeent , though, can give you some measure of confidence that your practice sessions are working.

Most people think nothing will work until experience proves otherwise. Until you know you have a new and effective ability to regulate emotions, any feeling of anxiety may be regarded as threatening. Why?  Because, before you had the Strengthening Exercise to protect you, there was nothing to stop slight feelings of anxiety (Level 6) from spiraling out of control to flooding and panic (Level 7).

So, until you prove to yourself that the Strengthening Exercise can do the job, any anxiety at all leads to imagination of being in panic, and imagination of being in panic is — itself — difficult to deal with. Why? Because imagination of panic is so very much like panic itself.

So, the best I can tell you is this: you should expect to not feel confident until you have taken a flight and thus begun to provide yourself with evidence that you now have tools which help. Once you begin to understand that Level 6 anxiety does not lead to Level 7, THEN Level 6 becomes A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE and tolerable.

Any past flight (which causes anxiety when you remember it and imagine what it was like) needs to be neutralized with the Erasure exercise (#11). Don’t try the Erasure exercise on your own. Call and let me run you  through it first. 877 332-7359 or 203 258-4803. I’m available between 10 AM and 7 PM Eastern time.

Whenever you feel anxiety, use the 5,4,3,2,1. Use it EVERY time you even START to feel anxiety.  This is a very powerful exercise and you can get results from it the first time.

If you continue having trouble with anticipatory, call me.

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5. Overall Strategy For Your Flight

On your first flight or two, the toughest part of the flight is sitting in the boarding area waiting. Why? Because you have everything in front on you. As you now know it is the number - not the seriousness - of “what if” thoughts that causes high anxiety.

Also, since you are not yet past the point of no return and can still back out, the temptation to leave is strong. Knowing that the point is approaching when you will not be able to back out adds to the total stress. You know immediate relief is available simply to backing out now while you still can.

Don’t. If you yield, your next attempt to fly will be even more difficult. Remember: this stress will disappear completely once you meet the captain. There are two ways - not just one way - to get relief at this point:

• backing out is one, but
• success is the other.

Backing out provides instant and immediate relief at the cost of lasting disgust and shame.

Success comes through grappling with this short period of intense stress and provides a sense of lasting pride and satisfaction.

Past flights have been difficult. You may believe that, in addition to the anxiety you are feeling as you wait for this flight, the flight itself will add such huge anxiety on top of what you are feeling now that you will not be able to stand it.

That’s how it used to be.

It isn’t that way anymore. Why? Because now you are prepared. You have practiced the Strengthening Exercise. Much of the anxiety you used to have will be controlled by the Strengthening Exercise. I’m assuming you have practiced it several times including Phase 1, Phase 2, and Phase 3.

Once you get on the plane and meet the captain, the Strengthening Exercise will kick in. The Strengthening Exercise does not - initially - work for anticipatory anxiety, so don’t judge by how you feel prior to meeting the captain.

Automatic control kicks in once you meet the captain.

So here is your strategy: even if you feel like bailing out, don’t. Tell yourself you will bail out after you meet the captain if - at that point (not this point) - you don’t feel OK.

Why is this a good strategy? Because I know that when you meet the captain, all the work you have done to be ready for the flight (even if you think you aren’t) will kick in, and - to your amazement - you will feel much, much better.v

So, plan to decide about bailing out after you meet the captain - not before.

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6. The 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

Here is an outline for this exercise:

Sit or recline comfortably. Focus on some object in front of you. Keep your focus on that throughout the exercise. (If you eyes drift off, just bring them back.) Do it out loud first. Then, try it silently. See if one works better for you than the other.

Maintaining focus, say the words “I see” and then name something in your peripheral vision. Then say “I see” and name something else in your peripheral vision. Continue until you have made five statements. For example: I see the lamp, I see the table, I see a spot on the lamp shade, I see a book on the table, I see a picture on the table.

Maintaining focus, say the words “I hear” and name something you hear. Then say “I hear” and name something else you hear. Continue until you have made five statements.

NOTE: you will have to repeat something if there are not five different things you can hear. For example: I hear the computer running, I hear a car outside, I hear my breathing, I hear my voice, . . . (running out of things, repeat one of them), I hear the computer running.

Maintaining focus, say the words “I feel” and name something you feel (not internal, like heart pounding or tension, but external). For example: I feel the chair under me, I feel my arm against my leg, I feel my left foot on the floor, I feel my right foot on the floor, feel the shirt on my shoulder.

That completes one cycle. It takes intense concentration. That is exactly what we want. As you concentrate on non-threatening things, the “fight or flight” hormones that were in your body when you started the exercise get burned off. As they get used up, you get more relaxed.

See, you don’t have to MAKE yourself relax; as the old ones get used up, you just get more relaxed.

What about the next cycle? If you always made five statements, you soon could do the exercise WITHOUT intense concentration, and your mind could drift back to “bad” thoughts. To keep the concentration intense, we make one change each cycle . . . instead of doing five statements again, we do four statements. Then, in the
next cycle, we do three statements. Then, in the next cycle, we do two statements. Then, in the next cycle, we do one statement. Then, in the next cycle, we go back to five, etc.

Is it OK to name the same things? Sure. Same or different is fine . . . just whatever comes to mind.

When do you stop? When you are as relaxed as you want to be, just stop. If you want to be more relaxed, or to fall asleep, continue. If you lose count, that is a good sign because it means you are getting so relaxed that you are losing count.

======================================================

7. What Are Relaxation Exercises All About?

Visual imagery that is threatening (whether real or imaginary) triggers the emotional control system to cause hormones to flow that “rev you up”. More gas in your car’s engine “revs it up”. More hormones in your mind and body “rev you up”.

Visual imagery that is not threatening will not trigger the emotional control system. Without a continuing supply of hormones, you naturally “down regulate.”

It is like driving your car, if you want to slow down, just take your foot off the gas and the car will naturally slow down.

Why also involve hearing and feeling? Because what you hear and feel leads to what you visualize.

Pleased don’t do this when driving, or as they say, when operating heavy machinery : -)

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8. Meeting The Captain

Get to the boarding area early. Give a copy to the person in charge. It asks they board you ahead of the other passengers; that makes it easy to meet the captain.

• If they agree to, stay nearby so they don’t forget.
• If they will not board you first, have them point out the boarding doorway. Stand as close to it as you can. (I say stand because, seats near the door may already be taken)

As soon as the first boarding announcement begins, board the plane.  Don’t wait for the announcement to end. The announcement usually goes like this: “We would like to invite our first
class passengers to board now.”  This is followed by “people with children,
and anyone who needs extra time.”

“Extra time?”  That’s you. But don’t wait to hear that. As soon as you recognize the beginning of the boarding
announcement, get on!

Onboard

A flight attendant will ask for your boarding pass and point toward your seat. Say, “Thank you but I have to do something first.” Do not go to your seat. If you do, you will have to fight traffic to get back

Find a different flight attendant who has time to take the letter to the captain. As you enter the plane, the galley is usually straight in front of you. If not, it will be toward the front of the plane, so go left toward the front and find the galley. The flight attendant assigned to the galley can help. If no one is in the galley, just wait.

When you find a flight attendant, tell him or her the following:

• I’m an anxious flier, and . . .
• I’m working on it with someone, and . . .
• he says it is REALLY important for me meet the captain.
• I understand about security so I don’t want to go up to the cockpit
  unannounced, so . . .

• Please take this letter up to the captain for me.  (Place the letter in the
  flight attendant’s hand like you are serving a summons.)  Then say . . .

• I’ll wait right here while you check with the captain.

Two things can go wrong, so be prepared:

1. The flight attendant says, “Give me your seat number and if the captain
says it is OK, I’ll come and get you.” That is a brush off.  Do not accept it.  Instead, say, “I have to find out about this right now.  I’ll wait right here while you check.”

2. The flight attendant says, “Because of security, you can’t do that anymore.” That is not true.  So just say, “I understand, but please take the letter up  anyway. Maybe the captain - or the copilot - has a moment to come back.”

• Do not approach the cockpit; just get the letter carried there. If the captain gets the letter, he or she will meet with you.
• Approach the cockpit accompanied by a flight attendant. If the captain or flight attendant signals from inside the cockpit to come up, don’t. A sky marshall might not be able to see their signal. Wait to be accompanied.

Captains - because they love to fly - are always more than happy to help someone who is at trying to, at least, like it. Don’t worry about interrupting anything. The pilots have finished their checks BEFORE you board, so that if maintenance is needed, it can be done before departure time.

Why Does This Help So Much?

If you could fly in the cockpit, you would have a great flight. There would be no problem with anxiety because there would be no imagination. You would SEE what is going on. (imagination - not reality - is always the cause of anxiety). Since you can’t fly in the cockpit, the next best thing is to meet the pilots
who will.

Then, when you hear a noise or feel some unexpected motion, instead of picturing disaster, you will picture the captain’s face, and the captain’s confidence that he or she knows how to deal with anything that could possibly happen because he or she has been flying for many years and practices everything that could go wrong in the simulator every year during recurrent training.

• Ask the captain about possible turbulence.
• Ask the captain how much of a power change to expect at “noise abatement”.
• Ask if he or she will make extra announcements to explain what is going on.

Know that the toughtest part of the flight - now that you have learned how
to control anxiety DURING the flight - is in the boarding area. Once you meet the
captain, all your tools and skills and practice will “kick in.”

While in the boarding area, use the 5,4,3,2,1 to focus on things that do not
lead at all to anxiety.

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9. Dealing With Long Flights

Don’t depend on the airline to keep you entertained.  Bring along a variety of things, a book, a half-dozen magazines, crossword puzzles, video games (you can be Tetris for $10.00).

Either buy a map of the route or use the map in the rear of the in-flight magazine.   Draw a line from your point of departure to your destination. When you learn the time en route (actually in the air) split the line into that number of parts, so each part will represent the amount of the map it takes one hour to cross.  When you
take off, use your own watch and note the time. Write the time down on the map at the departure point. Then do the math.  Add an hour and write that time on the map at the first mark (that represents the time you will cross that point.  Add another hour and write that time on the map at the next mark. Continue until you have thus
put the times you expect to cross each mark on all of them, and the time you write on the map will be your arrival time at the destination. This means you can look at your own watch at any point and figure out where on the map you are.

Though many planes have a video to show where you are, going through this exercise helps split up the flight in your mind. You may want to do marks that break up each hour into fifteen minute segments.

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10. Get The “Take Me Along” Audio Tracks

The SOAR Audio Course on MP3 includes everything that is in the video course plus something entirely new: a set of ‘Take Me Along’ audio tracks, one for each strategic moment during your flight.

• When you first arrive at the airport, you’ll listen to a special new relaxation exercise.
• Then, in the boarding area, I’ll help you deal with anticipatory anxiety.
• Once seated on the plane, I’ll tell you what to expect on takeoff.
• While cruising, you’ll hear me explain clearly why any turbulence you may feel is not going to cause a problem.
• Then, I’ll tell you what steps to expect during landing.
• As you hear them on your iPod, I’ll explain the noises the plane makes.

These ‘play-by-play’ explanations will assure you that everything is routine and normal so you can finally relax and enjoy your trip!

Interested? Just go to iAmplify.com and click on “Fear of Flying. There you can order the entire course, or just parts of the course.

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11. Elevators, Bridges, Tunnels, Etc.

If you have trouble with elevators (or bridges, tunnels, or taking a car trip) that may turn out to be helpful. Why? Because you can apply the Strengthening Exercise there as well.

One of the problems with dealing with flying is taking that first flight. Though I know the Strengthening Exercise will work, you don’t. Anticipatory anxiety develops because you don’t know. After all, before SOAR, you probably tried a lot of things and nothing helped. You may worry that this is another thing that will let you down right when you need it most.

If, before you fly, you apply the Strengthening Exercise to elevators, you can easily take an elevator ride and discover that the Strengthening Exercise does work. Knowing it works on elevators (or bridges, etc.) helps you feel confidence about your first post-SOAR flight, and reduces anticipatory anxiety.

How to set it up for elevators:

Notice how we do it with flying. We find a really special moment that warms your heart when you bring it to mind vividly, and then we just momentarily flash on an imaginary flight scene, and shift focus back to the positive moment. This teaches the mind to go from a flight scene to something positive, not another flight situation, not a “what if” and not imagination of something awful, but something that brings good feelings. That changes the sequence so anxiety is not allowed to get going.

Notice that we start with the end of the flight and work backwards. We do the same with the elevator. Here’s a list:

• outside the building
• leaving the building
• heading for the building exit
• just out of the elevator
• stepping out of the elevator, one foot out, one foot still in
• in the elevator with no one in your way
• in the elevator with someone blocking your exit
• in the elevator with the door opening
• elevator stopped with the door closed
• elevator stopping; heavy feeling
• elevator passing the third floor
• elevator passing the fifth floor
• elevator passing the eighth floor.
• elevator starting downward; lightheaded feeling
• elevator door closed, not moving
• elevator door closing
• waiting in the elevator
• others getting in the elevator
• selecting the ground floor
• stepping in the elevator
• seeing the elevator ready for you to get in
• the elevator door opening
• waiting for the elevator to arrive
• pressing the button for the elevator to come
• walking toward the elevator
• thinking about returning to the elevator
• walking around the tenth floor
• stepping out of the elevator on the tenth floor
• in the elevator with no one in your way
• in the elevator with someone blocking your exit
• in the elevator with the door opening
• elevator stopped with the door closed
• elevator slows its ascent; lightheaded feeling
• elevator passing the eighth floor.
• elevator passing the fifth floor
• elevator passing the third floor
• elevator starting upward; heavy feeling
• elevator not moving, with the door closed
• elevator door closing
• in the elevator, waiting for door to close
• in the elevator, more people getting in
• selecting the tenth floor
• stepping into the elevator
• seeing the elevator ready for you to get in
• the elevator door opening
• waiting for the elevator
• pressing the button for the elevator to come
• walking to the elevator
• walking into the building
• outside the building

If you want to adapt this for bridges, tunnels, or car trips, you do the same thing. Make a list of as many elements as you can come up with. It’s easier to create the list from beginning to end, but before you run the exercise, reverse the order so you start at the end and work backwards. If it is a car trip, use landmarks in the list when possible.

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12. Partial Erasure Of A Traumatic Memory

(Use Only If Taught In A Counseling Session)

Once traumatized by a bad flight, when we think of an upcoming flight and imagine what to expect, we use past
flights as the basis of that imagination.  Dread arises from the possibility of the upcoming flight being the same.  This is called “anticipatory anxiety”.

A form of anticipatory anxiety can occur even during the flight, as we anticipate and dread the possibility of the flight becoming like the past one, at any moment.

Even a non-flying trauma can cause problems with flying.  The problem with trauma is that it comes “out of the blue” unexpectedly.  Once that has happened, we may expect something awful to happen at any moment.

We may think that letting our guard down will bring on something awful.  Why? Because the first time we had trauma, we were not on guard for it, so when trauma first occurred, it occurred when we are unguarded, relaxed, and enjoying life. This can make it appear that being unguarded, relaxed, and enjoying life is
what causes bad things to happen.

We worry about two things:

• Something awful happening outside (losing control of things around us)
• Something awful happening inside (losing control of our feelings).

To try to control what happens inside, we try to control what happens outside. And, to control what happens outside, we believe we must stay hypervigilant. Expecting the worse, we believe, can help keep it from happening. Or, at least, if we stop worrying, something awful will happen.

This kind of mental orientation is the result of previous trauma. If the trauma took place before age five, though we may not remember what took place, we may still experience the residue of feelings that took place. (Though event memory is not mature until around five, feeling memory is mature at birth.)

The “erasure” process can take the edge off a trauma that is remembered. It cannot help with trauma that is not remembered. (Fortunately, the Strengthening Exercise can help with both kinds of memory.)

The Erasure exercise works by forming a backwards memory, and then is caused to interfere with the original (forward in time) memory.

Before starting, bring the original traumatic memory to mind and notice its impact on a scale of zero to ten (with zero being totally relaxed and ten the most stress you have ever felt).  You will later use this to check your progress.

Step 1: Capture the original memory and write it down

Write down what happened. This exercise may make it harder to remember the episode, so carefully write down all the details and keep it in a safe place. If you decide to do therapy in the future, you may need to remember details of the traumatic episode.

Step 2. Create the backwards memory

Using what you have written down, start at the end of what happened to make a backwards version of the episode. If you had a movie of what happened, it would be easy; you could just run the film backwards through the projector. Since you don’t have movie film of it, it is going to take some work to create an imaginary “backwards movie” of what happened.

To make a backwards memory, you must see in your mind’s eye — vividly — everything that you recall about the traumatic episode backwards in time, from the end back to the beginning.  That  needs to be done as realistically as possible.

Step 3. Combining the two

Then, to combine the backwards version with the original version, you need to go through the original traumatic memory.  BUT don’t do it in a way that might re-traumatize you (such as recalling it vividly).  To go through it without causing more trauma, we imagine we are seeing what happened on the tiny screen of a black-and-white TV.  Also, zip very quickly through just a small part of it (one to two seconds, only) quickly
so there is only a blur of the original memory.

All you are really trying to do by running a bit of it backwards is to locate the point where the original memory is stored in the mind, so that when you (next) again run the imaginary backwards memory, it gets placed right on top of the place where the original (forward) memory is stored.

Step 4. Backwards again

Run the backwards version in great detail (not on the imaginary TV set) but as you did in Step 2. Do it as vividly as you can with as much detail as you can include.

We are trying to record the imaginary backwards memory on top of the original (forward) memory. When both memories are recorded in the same location in the mind, and both are of approximately the same vividness, they tend to cancel each other out.

Step 5. Forward again

Zip just a bit of the forward memory again on the imaginary tiny black-and-white TV.

Step 6. Do several cycles of this

Try doing three or four cycles.  Each cycle is a quick zip forward on the TV followed by running the complete
backwards version with as much detail as you can come up with.

Step 7. Check your progress

Check your progress as follows: take a break from doing the exercise by taking your thoughts to some memory irrelevant to the exercise such as recall of a movie you have seen, or a meal at a restaurant, or some sports or work situation.  Or just do some other activity for a few minutes.

Then, bring the traumatic episode back to mind just as you might if someone said, “Hey, do you remember . . . ?”  Then notice if the memory has become fuzzier, less intense, and notice where it falls on a scale of zero to ten.

Step 8. Repeat the exercise every day or two until you get results

Don’t try to take the memory down below a one or a two, because you don’t want to totally erase any memory.  Just take it down to the point where it doesn’t bother you when you bring it to mind.

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