Keeping “What If” Thoughts Separate
Keeping “What If” Thoughts Separate
Years ago, I went
to Venice with a friend. You may have seen St. Marks Square in movies.
It is a huge square with outdoor cafes, a tower, and - at one end - the
Doge’s (The Duke’s) Palace and the Basilica.
If you go into the Basilica, and go up into the balcony, there is a doorway
that lets you out to a deck. The deck is elevated and from it you have a
magnificent view of St. Marks Square and all of Venice, the harbor. I took
her out there and suddenly she said, ‘Get me out of here!’ My first thought
was, ‘What - we ARE out (because we were outdoors).’ She started yelling,
‘Get me out of here, get me out of here.’
Not knowing anything else - though it didn’t make logical sense - I took
her back inside.
She said, ‘You knew better than to do that.’
I said, ‘What?’
She said, ‘You knew better than to do that.’
I asked, ‘What are you talking about.’
‘IT’S TOO MUCH,’ she shouted.
To me it was marvelous being out there, being able to see all of Venice.
I would look down at a cafe, at the pigeons, at people walking, at the tower,
at rooftops, at the harbor.
For her, it was too much; instead of seeing those things ONE AFTER
ANOTHER at a comfortable pace, she had them all hit her at once.
It was these various items which I saw one at a time, which overwhelmed
her because she saw them all at once.
Flight anxiety is like that. For some reason, we have trouble looking at one
‘what if’ after another at a comfortable pace; instead we look at the all at
once, and since each one releases a shot of stress hormone, all of them at
once causes multiple simultaneous shots of stress hormone.
All that is necessary to gain control over overwhelm is to learn to organize,
to put things into context, so we can deal with them one by one at a comfort-
able pace, a pace at which any stress hormones released has a chance to
be used up before going to the next ‘what if’ thought.
Accomplishing That Automatically
Under stress, being able to keep things in context may go out the window;
we found that - to be assured of protection against anxiety - the mind must
be trained IN ADVANCE TO DO IT AUTOMATICALLY.
That is what we do with the Strengthening Exercise: we train the mind to
AUTOMATICALLY deal with ‘what if’ thoughts one by one, and each one
in a context that does not cause the release of stress hormone.